The 10 commandments of karaoke

10/08/2016

1. Thou shalt avoid talking

Obviously a karaoke joint is not a monastery. A vow of silence just doesn't quite work with karaoke! Nonetheless, a minimum amount of attention is required when another person takes the stage. Pension reform or the value of the fractal analysis of the variability in the RR interval of the electrocardiograph are not discussions to be had during karaoke.

2. Thou shalt keep your opinions to yourself

Put yourself in the singer’s shoes. Imagine looking out into the audience and seeing whispers, laughter... The effect on a singer is like a cinder block coming at you full speed ahead while racing along on the track of the Indy 500.

3. Thou shalt never heckle the singer

Whatever horrors your ears may be subjected to, don’t forget that karaoke by definition is a past-time open and free to all. The vocal capabilities of the singer don't (and shouldn't) matter! That’s also what makes karaoke so charming, it’s sometimes a lesson in tolerance.

4. Thou shalt, in every circumstance, applaud

Not only do we not heckle, but we gladly and willingly applaud. Who doesn’t like to be applauded? Clapping is a way to show that you appreciated the rendition (even if it is just to celebrate that it's finally over).

5. Thou shalt wait your turn

Whether formal or verbal, there is an order to be respected. And respect it you shall, otherwise your karaoke party may turn into a rat race.

6. Thou shalt not sing louder than the singer

The singer may have staked his claim on YOUR favorite song, but that isn’t a reason to outsing the person with the microphone (even when you don't have one yourself).

7. Thou shalt not get on stage without invitation

You can dance in your chair, beside it, around or even on it, but do not bust a move on stage unless you are prompted to do so.

8. Thou shalt not make the singer laugh

Your best friend is on stage, so naturally, disrupting his moment of glory is enticing. Even if you're invited to, a private joke between the two of you will likely go right over the heads of others.

9. Thou shalt retain some sobriety

In all circumstances, moderation in everything. It’s ok to offer a show, but avoid making a spectacle, it’s the fine line when making the difference between artists and disruptor.

10. Thou shalt take care of the material

A microphone is not made to juggle. It is fragile and can’t take lots of hits. Finishing a rap song and doing a mic drop as you exit the stage is not a good idea!


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1 comment
  • 1 year ago
    Can we get Eamon